16 December 2008

A man does not die of love or his liver or even of old age; he dies of being a man. ~Percival Arland Ussher




The weekend was a wonderful one, spent with Lu, visiting, meeting new people, receiving wonderful gifts and love...I also got my book from America - The Story of Edgar Sawtelle...I am waiting to finish the Shogun and to start this one. I also bought Changi, written by the same author as Shogun, James Clavell. Yes, many, many details that make life funnier and happier. My life at least.



But...but...ah, there are also moments in which you understand time is not forever and sometimes it shuts down for some of us...Yesterday I was coming back home and I met my neighbour, a 82 y/o man , a person I loved like a grandpa...when I was a child my parents would let me in their house until they would come back from work..I slept there, I ate there, I played there...my favourite thing to do was to look at the pictures in the newspapers "Banarica" used to buy...or to play cards and backgammon, to make fun of him and to laugh together, and we were like grandpa and grand daughter...and for some time now, being so old, he used to forget, he kept on asking the same things over and over again...I felt so sad understandindg what ages does and how he is slowly transforming...

yesterday we met in the building I live, he was checking some flat where nobody lives and who was broken into by thiefs...he wanted to put a lock...in the flat there was a whole in the floor that led straight to the basement, where the thiefs got into...after this small talk I got into the apartment...3 hours later I heard a knock at the door and there was his lady, looking for him, because he dissapeard and nobody could find him...we went to search for him, but nothing...

Then one neighbour informed us he found the body in his basement...seemed like Banarica wanted to see how the burglars went in, and he just locked himself in the flat and went down the hole in the floor, to get into the basement...we were amazed because the whole is 52cm/32cm, and the man was quite a robust one...needless to say that when hearing this I felt like living in a dream, I couldn;t stop crying, feeling dizzy and amazed...police came, they took pictures...I just went to watch down the hole and I saw this man laying on his back, hands on his belly, knees up, looking up in the ceeling, mouth open and so dry...the first impresion was that I was in a movie, I couldn;t believe the police would let us get so close..


Some man, my father too, helped getting the man out of the basement..and while waiting for a car to get him to the morgue, they layed him on the floor, on a blanket...he was like sleeping and I wanted to go and take his hand and ask him to come back...then they took him, now we are waiting for the result, to see the cause of the death...

Fortunately, mom gave me some pill to calm down, I was feeling so dizzy and weak...unfortunately, the pill dried out my tears and I went to sleep imediately...but I kept on rememebering that we met that day, that we talked...that I didn't visit him for over a month and felt ashamed...that he was waitin for Christmas for me to go visit him...that..that...that...

Today...I feel like nothing happened and that it was all a black dream...strangely enough, yesterday, after I heard he dissapeard, a song started playing in my head unteil I heard he was found dead...the song is one that the priest sings when he comes into the house of the deceased, but I paid little importance to the song because I wanted to find him alive.

Rest in peace Banarica and may GOd forgive you....as for us, I think I should visit my grandparents more, stop being a selfish and hurried person...sometimes we forget we are humans, we behave like robots...

1 comment:

Yas V said...

Very sorry to hear what happened to your neighbor and to you. Try not to blame yourself. Sometimes things happen that you can't explain or understand. In the end they all serve their purpose its just not always clear at the time the reason why.

Stay strong.